I was trying to be too strict, too rigid in our budget.  I desperately want the debt GONE.  However, I’ve been told that I also have to LIVE while we are eliminating it!

Therefore, we now have a “blow” category in our budget.  Mind you, it’s $20 total (basically a movie or a take n’bake pizza… however, it’s still a blow category.

Love you DH!

A friend of ours told us that he and his wife have been not paying tithe and have supposedly been using it to pay off debt (all the while they continue to have cable TV, cell phones for their kids, consume coffee daily at the java place…).

They told us that it was advised by Crown Financial and frankly, I was in shock and disgust… so I did some searching…and look at what I found:

“The principle of tithing is just that—a principle. God is looking for the right attitude in a person’s giving.

If there is not a true heart-felt willingness to give back to the Lord a portion of what He has entrusted to us, giving tithes upon tithes would be without purpose.

For people who feel that they cannot afford to give the full tithe because they have too much debt, yet they are willing and want to tithe, perhaps there is an option that can satisfy both situations.

Because God expects us to remain true to biblical principles, if we have made prior vows (in the form of taking on a debt) to man before making a vow to tithe to God, God directs that the vow be maintained in order to present a good witness (see Proverbs 22:1).

In such cases, the tithe should come from the money not already pledged to creditors, but available to disperse.

However, a commitment to give to God would certainly take precedence over any payment to creditors for debts contracted after a pledge was made to tithe.”

Well, Crown Financial “sort of” says it’s ok to send your tithe to your debts, but only if you were not previously tithing. Hum… way to take that concept and distort it dear friends of mine. However, I disagree with Crown Financial and Dave Ramsey also disagrees with their stance, here’s his take:

“Many people have observed that after they stopped tithing, their finances seemed to get worse.  In the Book of Malachi, God promises that if you do not rob Him of your tithing, He will rebuke your devourers and protect you.

If you cannot live off 90% of your income, then you cannot live off 100%.  It does not require a miracle for you to get through the month.  I think that if you sit down and look at your budget, you will see that you can make it while giving at least 10%.  Read the Bible and take from it what you will, and if you tithe, do it out of love for God, not guilt.”

I firmly believe that the number 1 “line item” in your budget (as a believer) is your tithe, plain and simple. And, a tithe is 10%, not 2%, not 8%, it’s 10%. As a believer, there is no excuse to not be giving the Lord back 10% of what He’s given us. If you have nothing, you can give nothing but your time. If you have little, give back 10% (or more in offerings) of what the Lord has provided you. If you have lots, give 10% plus offerings. When you are in debt, you must be giving your 10% to the Lord and working out a plan to pay your debts to others.

We often have the mindset that it’s “our” money when in fact, it’s God’s money and he’s letting us have some. Tithing is also a matter of obedience, yes it is also a matter of the heart, but first and foremost it is a matter of obedience (which is a direct matter of the heart). God even challenges us to test Him in this (Malachi 3:10). When you do not tithe, you are robbing God (Malachi 3:8). Out of love we obey, and our heart must be right when we obey. Obedience is done with a joyful heart. A heart full of love for the Lord.

We tithe, no matter what our debt is, no matter what other obligations we have. Right off the top of all money that comes into our home (including tax credits!!) we give 10% right back to our local church. We don’t think of it as lost income, it’s just an automatic thank you gift we give with all income. We want so much to do more and we are working towards that day. We have been able to do lots in the past, just not recently and I really don’t like that feeling.

Besides, if there is money enough for anything besides shelter, basic food and clothes, there is money to tithe, period. Yes, that means if you have cell phones, cable, internet, coffee, things you could sell, etc. then you have enough to give back to God.  If you aren’t tithing, as a believer, in no way should you be paying for any additional items, including a “blow” fund.

Years ago I used to do this every week… however hubby and I changed our food consumption to literally only meat, fresh veggies and limited fresh fruits. We pretty much ate nothing else. Not too many coupons available for those limited items so I quit even bothering to look for coupons, although I’d watch for meat sales.

However, we are now a family of 6 with 4 boys that have ginormous appetites and they are only getting bigger. So, our diets have changed and for now, that’s going to have to be ok. Our diets will be dictated by our budget. Our “healthy” eating will simply be that we do not eat at fast food places or restaurants. We will have some version of protein at every meal and it will be very plentiful.

Anyway, the first trip this week was to Albertsons… I used their circular and coupons that I found on coupons.com. I spent a total of $64.00 and this is what I came home with:

• 20 dozen eggs
• 4 boxes general mills cereal
• 2 gallons whole milke
• 1 loaf white bread
• 5 half gallons of minute maid brand limeade/lemonade
• 10lbs chicken thighs
• 8 lbs cheddar cheese
• 2 one and a half quarts breyer’s ice cream

This is just one trip and not everything we need for the week, nor is it things we always eat each week.  Because of the coupons and discounts, I was able to take advantage of a few things we don’t normally eat such as cereal, the drinks and the breyer’s ice cream.

As I said I am not concerned about organic or “perceived” healthy foods (ie: low fat, lean meats, etc.)  I am concerned about getting as much “balanced” food for my family as possible, with the lowest price possible.  In fact, our current grocery budget is $500/month but my goal is to get our grocery spending down to $300/month on average.

Ok - this is a part of the getting debt free that isn’t an issue for us.  We’ve had a budget for a few years and have lived by our budget successfully.  Budgets are not something that are static, they are dynamic and fluid.

However, ours has been WAY too fluid the past couple of years as evidenced by our debt.  We’ve also never had the goal to actually live debt free - our focus had just been to … well whatever … living debt free is what it should have been.  We were incorrectly focused and not biblically aligned.  We are changing that now.

I keep a bi-weekly budget as opposed to a monthly budget.  I have it drafted out in a spreadsheet along with formula’s etc.  I just completed all of 2010’s budget - putting bills where they are due, income as it’s expected, etc.  I’m a bit of an accounting geek (just a bit, not too bad) so I enjoy this process.

However, most people do not like this process.  I recommend heading over to Dave’s site and checking out his forms.  Get yourself a budget written on paper, this is a huge first step.  Before you can pay off any debt, you must have a budget and you must be current on all of your obligations.  Dave has recommendations on how to get there and what to do if you can’t meet all of your monthly obligations.  Please visit him for his advice, it’s sound and will make you so incredibly healthy financially you’ll be jumping for joy.

Our budget is completed and low and behold, on paper it looks like we are running a negative every month.  Hum.  I don’t know what’s been keeping us afloat (we haven’t been using the cards for almost a year) as we’ve been meeting all of our obligations just fine.  We did recently purchase a home which increased our monthly housing expenses (ok, it doubled it) and that’s about the amount we are showing negative.

So… now the game is on to figure out how much we can reduce our monthly expenses.

Here is our current monthly budget… I’ll review as we reduce expenses:

• Tithe - 10% (I’m not prepared to reveal our income so this will have to suffice!)
• Mortgage - $1304.54
• Freedom Fund (annual expenses, repairs, medical, etc) - $180.00
• Electricity - $75.00
• W/S/G - $75.00
• Gas - $75.00
• Phones - $225.00
• Internet - $50.00
• Groceries - $600.00
• Car Payment - $314.54
• Gas/oil - $300.00
• Health Insurance - $242.27
• Toiletries/pets - $100.00
• Cosmetics - $10.00
• Hair care - $50.00
• Tuition - $935.00
• School supplies - $10.00
• CC #1 - $65.00
• CC #2 - $70.00
• CC #3 - $81.00
• CC #4 - $87.00
• CC #5 - $116.00
• CC #6 - $125.00
• Gas card - $20.00
• Macy’s - $70.00
• ISTC - $100.00
• Personal loan - $151.00
• Student loan #1 - on forbearance
• Student loan #2 - on forbearance

My goal is to reduce this budget by at least $300.00/month over the next 6 months.

First thing we are attacking is groceries/toiletries/pets - current budget of $700/month.  I would like to bring this entire expense down to $600/month immediately.

Second thing we are attacking is internet - looking to find a less expensive broadband option.  We don’t have cable TV or satellite TV or a landline so we don’t get a reduced cost for our internet.  This is in process.  I’m hoping to save at least $20/month on this service.

Third thing we are attacking is our cell phone bill.  However, there isn’t much room on this one… we have 3 lines (mine, his, house/kids).  2 lines have internet access on our phones - we work in real estate and use this frequently throughout the day for MLS access, email communication with our clients/prospects, etc.   The house/kids line is $10/month and that will remain - we want phone access for the kids when we are not home with them.  So, I think the only thing we’ll be able to change on this is phone insurance that we pay monthly - $2/month I believe.  That will be gone immediately.

Those 3 items total $132.00/month of unnecessary spending. Just $168.00 to go!

This is so frustrating… being so incredibly tight financially that we are not able to purchase even a $2 coffee at Starbucks without it breaking the bank. Don’t get me wrong, we haven’t purchased a coffee drink or other fast drink in months, it’s just that it is frustrating not having any, ANY, disposable income, not even 50c.

The part that makes it the most frustrating is realizing that honestly, we should be living like this all the time – very aware of the money we almost literally throw away. Mismanage is a better term.

The kids are not involved in any sports this year – we simply don’t have any money. We aren’t going camping or on any little excursions, they cost more than just hanging out at home. We aren’t involved in any extra events whatsoever. What we do have is spent on gas and groceries. Anything extra, if there is any, is saved for unplanned for things like: realizing the kids need another piece of curriculum to finish their schooling, the spigot on the house breaks, a child wants his bike repaired, etc. etc. etc.

Our refrigerator isn’t working properly and we need to replace it. The “computer” or “sensor” in our washing machine is malfunctioning. Sometimes it’s cleaning clothes, sometimes it’s not and in all cases, it isn’t spinning when it’s supposed to so clothes are coming out soaked. Plus, putting anything more than ¼ load in it is a death knell, it thinks it’s off balance, no matter how you arrange it. It’s a catch 22, do we spend several hundred dollars on trying to fix it or, do we go ahead and replace it with the washer we want: a front loader that holds more, uses less water and spins the clothes practically dry (thereby using less energy in the dryer)?

We have a tax return coming and it is frustrating knowing that we need to spend a chunk of it on a washer and refrigerator instead of paying off a high interest rate credit card. FRUSTRATING.

But wait. As I’m writing this, I’m remember something… it seems as though when you fully commit to something, things will happen to try to break your resolve.Hum… Fridge, washer, car (yeah, that is being ornery too)… well fine. As long as we do not go further into debt and buy needless things or mismanage our money, I’m just not going to worry about it.