I’m an optimist… but even optimists fight off nagging doubts once in a while.  I’m fighting mine off right this very minute. I am definitely gung ho about following Dave Ramsey, 100% to a T, even to the point of being fully mortgage debt free.

My nagging doubt? The fact that we have more student loan debt than anyone on earth (ok not literally, but it sure feels like it) and the fact that we are going to have to do baby step #2 in 2 stages… the first by paying off credit cards and auto loans, then splitting the step in half and saving a bigger emergency fund, then paying off the student loans and personal loan we have.  Yes, our student loans combined are approximately double our annual salary.  The personal loan we have is just slightly under our current annual salary.

I know we can pay it all, it will take time, I just want to make sure we are doing it right.  For now, we are putting $2,000 into our emergency fund.  $1,000 just makes me nervous, especially with questionable appliances, a questionable car and some potential medical expenses coming up (suspect braces for at least 2 kids, suspected glasses for another, etc).

Anyway, just about done with baby step #1 (saving the initial emergency fund - which I upped to $2,000 from Dave’s recommended $1,000).  Can not WAIT to get into paying off the debt again (yes, we’ve been credit/auto debt free before).

Maybe it’s the summer heat. Maybe it’s the fact that summers are busier, and the last thing I want to think about at the end of a long day is cooking. Or maybe it’s the fact that we haven’t been planning our meals. Oh. Yeah that last one is it!

When nothing sounds good, you’re tired, and it’s a little hot out, those are great times to default to indiscriminate spending on eating out. This is how we got into debt in the first place. Giving in to laziness and poor planning is not a good way of living in general. But this kind of behavior affects our physical health, as well as our financial health.

So the solution? Hate the fact that we got ourselves into this mess, and love the idea of getting out if it more!

It’s funny how quickly we become attached to doing things that cost money. Bored? Then how easy is it to go to a movie, take the family out to dinner, run by the store and grab an impulse purchase.

One of the major life changes we want to make is to become much more active in our lives and this means getting out of the dull, boring, slothful, money spending options.

We recently moved into a new home. Our new home is in a great community and has access to a private community beach and park. Additionally, our new location gives us access to extensive paved trails that can get us miles upon miles of places, all on our bikes or walking/running. These trails give us access to dozens of parks and multiple beaches along the river and lake it’s all adjacent to.

This evening we actually drove (yes, tired and lazy) down to our community park and beach and relaxed while the kids played in the water (well, in the mud anyway, slightly too cold for a real swim session). It was very relaxing, the weather was gorgeous and we thoroughly enjoyed it.

Then what did we do? Came home and the kids camped out in the backyard and hubby and I watched a movie, one we already own.

This was almost a totally free afternoon/evening event. The only expense we had was the gas for the vehicle and electricity to run the TV and DVD player. A no cash outlay evening. Nice!

I was racking my brain the last several days trying to find a way to fill in the gaps in our budget.  I’m certain that what I found isn’t going to happen to everyone, but I imagine that many of you will have “lost” funds that fall into this same category.

I remembered that about two years ago I prepaid for come chiropractic visits because my chiropractor at the time was offering some pretty good discounts to do so. After that, I got very busy, kept forgetting to go, and the problem I was going for seemed to go away on it’s own.

Flash forward two years or so, and I remembembered that the money was still there. I called the office and now have a check for around $500 on its way to me. I wouldn’ t recomend using this method as some sort of odd “savings account,” as some business might have a no-refund policy. But there it was when we needed it. Makes me wonder what else I might have forgotton about…..

Who knows why, but for some reason, our Chevron card has become a “convenience”.  There happens to be a Chevron right around the corner from our neighborhood and ARGH, we have started running there for little convenience things.  Want some ice cream? Run to Chevron.  No cash for bread?  Run to Chevron.  Not enough time to run to Costco (where gas is the least expensive)? Run to Chevron where gas is very expensive.

Ok, today I am chopping up the Chevron cards.  There is absolutely NO reason for us to have one.  We are on essentially a cash budget (debit card works fine for gas) so the only reason we use Chevron is when we want to either not spend our cash or when we want something when we don’t have cash available - in both cases, WE DON’T NEED whatever it is we want.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not canceling the Chevron account, only chopping up the cards making it impossible for us to use them.  There’s a whole debate about canceling one’s credit cards and right now, we are not willing to start attacking our credit by closing up cards.   We want to reduce our auto/homeowners insurance expense and having a higher credit score is key for that so… credit needs to get better (not terrible, just not premium).

This is so frustrating… being so incredibly tight financially that we are not able to purchase even a $2 coffee at Starbucks without it breaking the bank. Don’t get me wrong, we haven’t purchased a coffee drink or other fast drink in months, it’s just that it is frustrating not having any, ANY, disposable income, not even 50c.

The part that makes it the most frustrating is realizing that honestly, we should be living like this all the time – very aware of the money we almost literally throw away. Mismanage is a better term.

The kids are not involved in any sports this year – we simply don’t have any money. We aren’t going camping or on any little excursions, they cost more than just hanging out at home. We aren’t involved in any extra events whatsoever. What we do have is spent on gas and groceries. Anything extra, if there is any, is saved for unplanned for things like: realizing the kids need another piece of curriculum to finish their schooling, the spigot on the house breaks, a child wants his bike repaired, etc. etc. etc.

Our refrigerator isn’t working properly and we need to replace it. The “computer” or “sensor” in our washing machine is malfunctioning. Sometimes it’s cleaning clothes, sometimes it’s not and in all cases, it isn’t spinning when it’s supposed to so clothes are coming out soaked. Plus, putting anything more than ¼ load in it is a death knell, it thinks it’s off balance, no matter how you arrange it. It’s a catch 22, do we spend several hundred dollars on trying to fix it or, do we go ahead and replace it with the washer we want: a front loader that holds more, uses less water and spins the clothes practically dry (thereby using less energy in the dryer)?

We have a tax return coming and it is frustrating knowing that we need to spend a chunk of it on a washer and refrigerator instead of paying off a high interest rate credit card. FRUSTRATING.

But wait. As I’m writing this, I’m remember something… it seems as though when you fully commit to something, things will happen to try to break your resolve.Hum… Fridge, washer, car (yeah, that is being ornery too)… well fine. As long as we do not go further into debt and buy needless things or mismanage our money, I’m just not going to worry about it.

It’s a journey that begins with a conscious decision, a first step: deciding that being debt free is a top priority, that having debt is no longer an option. I equate it to the same thoughts as a marriage ending in divorce: if you enter a marriage without first deciding that no matter what, divorce is not an option, you will end up in divorce. So, from this point on, no matter what, debt is not an option.

I’ve decided to share our process, albeit anonymously for now. There will be ups and downs, achievements and failures. It’s called life and we live it on a daily basis. It’s also likely that most of our life will spill into this process, choices we make, investments in our relationships, etc. I hope to share the thought process going on in my head, even the politically incorrect and judgmental thoughts, you know the ones that flash through your head that you wouldn’t really share out loud, yes those.